I woke up super early this morning because, 1. I couldn't sleep, and 2. I'm going to get my place in line for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows bright and early this morning. Borders gives out wristbands and your place depends on the color.
My first thoughts when I woke up about 15 minutes ago were, "Oh my god! Harry Potter day has arrived!"
And now, I've been to Mugglenet, and subsequently JKR's website, where she has posted her acknowledgments for the Harry Potter series. I sat there, reading this long not about how thankful she is to many people, and I just...wanted to cry. Harry has been a 10-year journey for me. I have gone from a girl to a woman in the same time that Harry has become a man, and JKR has become a wealthy superstar writer. I don't know if everyone can appreciate how much Harry Potter has meant to me. Honestly, I don't think I can put it into words. And even though I am riddled with anticipation about what will happen to Harry and all the other characters, I also find myself hesitant to have it be over. I want to know what happens, and I'm still going to jet through the book, but what will my life be like now that all the guessing is over? What will happen now that Harry is gone, grown up, and either living his future, or dead? What will be my conversation starter with strangers my age? What will I find to cling to when I need to think about another world, another place than this war-ridden rock I have found myself on? How will I move past Harry?
People might make fun of me for saying all this, but it's dreadfully personal to me. I am who I am because of Harry Potter, and I would never trade my obsession for anything "more normal." I grew up with Hermione, who doesn't care what people think about her, and her brains. I grew up with Ron, and all his fierce loyalty and bumblings, which have made him so endearing. I have grown up with Dumbledore, and his wise advice about love. I have grown up with Snape, and have hoped for his redemption, and seen his hard work to right his mistakes. I have grown up with Neville, who I have fallen in love with because he is so strong in the face of so much. I have grown up with Harry, honorable, brave, and sometimes rash, Harry, who is a completely human character. He makes mistakes, and he does everything humanly possible to protect his family and friends. As he has grown, made mistakes, believed falsities and been so loving, so angry, so happy, so loyal, I have been all that with him, made those mistakes, tried to correct them, believed wrong things. I have been with Harry on this journey for ten years, and he has been on mine with me.
And tonight, at midnight, I will hold his future in my hands, bound and typeset. It will not change from what I see tonight. But I won't hold my future in my hands. Though I've lived with Harry for ten years, tonight, I'm done with him. No matter what happens to Harry, there will be no more anticipation to see what happens to him. No more living it in real time. I will never again be able to pretend that I'm eleven, waiting for my owl to bring my Hogwarts letter. I'll never again be able to pretend that I'm sitting my OWLS, or NEWTS. I won't be able to pretend I'm there with Harry, in the Gryffindor common room, or in Transfiguration class, or Potions. This is the end of an era. Our lives can no longer be parallel, and I'll have to move past Harry, back into this real world. Back to our real war. Back to the same violence, same corrupt political system, same perceived superiority of race, color, class. But this time it'll be real, and the magic will be gone. My time escaping to Harry and friends will end tonight, at midnight.
I am excited, but I am sad. I don't know if I'm ready to let go of this last standing pillar of my childhood. I've lived a decade with Harry. I've moved into womanhood. Harry is all that's left from my childhood imaginings. And tonight, I bid goodbye. Too soon, maybe, but it had to happen some day. Tonight, Harry will grow into an adult before my eyes, and no matter what his fate, when I close the back cover of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I will move on to my adult life, and Harry will be left to "the pages of the books to which [I] so desperately cleave."
Thank you, Jo Rowling, for giving me this gift. I would be a much different woman without it.
My first thoughts when I woke up about 15 minutes ago were, "Oh my god! Harry Potter day has arrived!"
And now, I've been to Mugglenet, and subsequently JKR's website, where she has posted her acknowledgments for the Harry Potter series. I sat there, reading this long not about how thankful she is to many people, and I just...wanted to cry. Harry has been a 10-year journey for me. I have gone from a girl to a woman in the same time that Harry has become a man, and JKR has become a wealthy superstar writer. I don't know if everyone can appreciate how much Harry Potter has meant to me. Honestly, I don't think I can put it into words. And even though I am riddled with anticipation about what will happen to Harry and all the other characters, I also find myself hesitant to have it be over. I want to know what happens, and I'm still going to jet through the book, but what will my life be like now that all the guessing is over? What will happen now that Harry is gone, grown up, and either living his future, or dead? What will be my conversation starter with strangers my age? What will I find to cling to when I need to think about another world, another place than this war-ridden rock I have found myself on? How will I move past Harry?
People might make fun of me for saying all this, but it's dreadfully personal to me. I am who I am because of Harry Potter, and I would never trade my obsession for anything "more normal." I grew up with Hermione, who doesn't care what people think about her, and her brains. I grew up with Ron, and all his fierce loyalty and bumblings, which have made him so endearing. I have grown up with Dumbledore, and his wise advice about love. I have grown up with Snape, and have hoped for his redemption, and seen his hard work to right his mistakes. I have grown up with Neville, who I have fallen in love with because he is so strong in the face of so much. I have grown up with Harry, honorable, brave, and sometimes rash, Harry, who is a completely human character. He makes mistakes, and he does everything humanly possible to protect his family and friends. As he has grown, made mistakes, believed falsities and been so loving, so angry, so happy, so loyal, I have been all that with him, made those mistakes, tried to correct them, believed wrong things. I have been with Harry on this journey for ten years, and he has been on mine with me.
And tonight, at midnight, I will hold his future in my hands, bound and typeset. It will not change from what I see tonight. But I won't hold my future in my hands. Though I've lived with Harry for ten years, tonight, I'm done with him. No matter what happens to Harry, there will be no more anticipation to see what happens to him. No more living it in real time. I will never again be able to pretend that I'm eleven, waiting for my owl to bring my Hogwarts letter. I'll never again be able to pretend that I'm sitting my OWLS, or NEWTS. I won't be able to pretend I'm there with Harry, in the Gryffindor common room, or in Transfiguration class, or Potions. This is the end of an era. Our lives can no longer be parallel, and I'll have to move past Harry, back into this real world. Back to our real war. Back to the same violence, same corrupt political system, same perceived superiority of race, color, class. But this time it'll be real, and the magic will be gone. My time escaping to Harry and friends will end tonight, at midnight.
I am excited, but I am sad. I don't know if I'm ready to let go of this last standing pillar of my childhood. I've lived a decade with Harry. I've moved into womanhood. Harry is all that's left from my childhood imaginings. And tonight, I bid goodbye. Too soon, maybe, but it had to happen some day. Tonight, Harry will grow into an adult before my eyes, and no matter what his fate, when I close the back cover of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I will move on to my adult life, and Harry will be left to "the pages of the books to which [I] so desperately cleave."
Thank you, Jo Rowling, for giving me this gift. I would be a much different woman without it.
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