Hanging in the Balance

So I'm back in the place where I'm waiting in between the nervousness and the excitement about study abroad. I've been talking about it so much, and trying to prepare mentally and a little physically for it, but I think I'm a little overwhelmed. I'm really nervous about all the Spanish and stuff, but I'm starting to think about it more and more and how exciting it's going to be. And how different it's going to be. And I'm sitting here thinking about how different it's going to be and then I get scared and nervous again. It's this weird in between-y feeling that I don't like.

Our power went out the other night and my mom dug out a book of Neruda and Vallejo poetry. It's in Spanish, with an English translation on the page next to it. I started translating the Spanish last night, writing down and looking up every word I didn't know. It's kinda scary when you start filling pages of notebook paper with words. But I want to do it, and I need to improve my Spanish. Plus, I think it'd be thrilling to take poetry in Spanish. I could be completely nuts, but I think it would be really cool. My Mom's friend Augusta, who's from Iceland, told me that that's a great way to get an appreciation for the language and see the beauty in it. I dunno. It just seems wonderful.

I also plan on reading my Harry Potters in Spanish to try to get better. I think I might skip the first chapter because it's just annoying. But it should be fun. Especially now that I know how it all ends.

I think I'm going to make myself study Spanish every night until I leave. Do at least two poems and read a few pages of Harry Potter, and maybe do a chapter in my Spanish book, or a section, or something. That way, I'll feel better and feel like I'm doing everything I can to prepare myself.

I'm about to start making lists and cleaning and preparing. If anyone has suggestions to make my packing easier, let me know.