Worried

Today was a day of worrying and not doing. I worried a lot and got nothing done. But I did have a good day.

Ironically, this was the Poem of the day today from my Writer's Almanac emails. It goes well with my mood:

The Worriers' Guild
by Philip F. Deaver

Today there is a meeting of the
Worriers' Guild,
and I'll be there.
The problems of Earth are
to be discussed
at length
end to end
for five days
end to end
with 1100 countries represented
all with an equal voice
some wearing turbans and smocks
and all the men will speak
and the women
with or without notes
in 38 languages
and nine different species of logic.
Outside in the autumn
the squirrels will be
chattering and scampering
directionless throughout the town
because
they aren't organized yet.

Jamie's home, though. Which is great because I got to see her before I went away for ten thousand months (also known as six). We went to Mike's and had lunch, then went and watched some TV. It's good to have friends. Cheryl's home too. Must visit her.

I have so much to do, though. I'm still living like it's the middle of the summer, which is bad because my room's a mess, and I need to do laundry, and pack everything up and weigh it. My mom got me a second huge suitcase today, and I'm terrified that I'm now going to pack too much. It's pink, too. Which seems absolutely absurd to me, but I like it.

Tonight I went to my brother's show. They were great. But I've been worried all day and going to the show left me in a bit of a state of distress. All the tension because I left late. All the worrying about not having done anything in relation to getting my room and life organized for Ecuador. It's just...crazy. Crazy. Chaos. I can only describe it as those.vAnd now I'm all worried. I think I'll just make a list of everything I need to get done so that I may relax a little and just start doing things tomorrow.

It's also weird because I've started saying goodbye to people. Like today when I was leaving Jamie's and when I left David's show. It was all hugs and goodbyes. That's so weird. I hugged David's girlfriend Bethany goodbye and we just started talking about it, and I felt kind of sad. I had to say goodbye to Sarah and Ryan, too, and it was just...I can't believe I'm about to leave for so long. It's huge for me. It's scary as hell, and I'm so excited at the same time. It's just...such a big thing.

Argh. Now I'm just babbeling and not making any sense. Okay. Time to list-atize everything.